Remember to Fall

at the river you stood. powerful. exposed. hands wide open you climbed the mountain. not alone. i was there holding you. soul journeying with you. whispering to you. and on the other side... paradise. a boy. our first born. forever i'm witness to your courage. forever i'm thankful to share this experience with you.

i kiss you like a jealous lover because you're so... everything.

recently we both had a dream about each other. when i woke to my morning alarm i died. i wish i was still in that dream. everything was prefect. a bay window with morning sun hugged the quiet room we were in. the only noise was the rustling we were doing. mostly silent. but in each other's arms we were. content. morning clothes. slightly dressed. in love. deep in love. breathing slowly. we held each other. her head on my shoulder. this moment i felt more love. butterflies. content. reciprocated emotion. sumatra bean brewed filled the room. moving green foliage rustled. life abundant. love. she is love. then i woke.  i'm not sure of the details of her dream but from her confession. we were renewing our vows. kisses exchanged. she woke happy and smiling.  now i'm smiling.

you do like animals. and frankly i find that gentleness hot.

christmas. was it done right when this is her response? i turned one year of her blog into a book.  all hand made,  stitched and bond with love. inside it wrote: my love, since the beginning i've only fallen deeper in love  with you. unknowingly you are  a thief. you stole my heart. you  became my muse for the rest of  time, inspiring life for the  rest of my life. merry christmas.  you're the best author i know.  published too! xoxoxo, j.

there are many things that keep me well. one of them is my wife. this journey i've started happened years ago in a late night bible study. deeply headed toward a different path, i made a broken promise to a girl that i'd marry her. this college girl, now name-less for her privacy's sake, was everything i wanted at the time. looks. a career path. broken family much like mine. i enjoyed spending time with her. the plans were made. caterers booked, a venue reserved, and a savings for deposits. at that time in my life i wholeheartedly wanted to tell people about my secret- i found peace and hope in jesus. having a spiritual direction that was my own was important. books were my teachers. sermons were my direction. i planned on having the best life possible. marriage was calling me. the dying need to not only be with someone, but to be with someone who would spend a life with. that's the problem. i wanted the picture complete. my life's cycle, energy, and prayers we